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Trust and betrayal

26/02/2010

I have been reading with sad interest the recent news surrounding John Terry and Wayne Bridge and I was sorry yesterday to see Wayne take the decision to step down from playing for England in the World Cup compromising his own football career.

I hope with two months ahead he may overcome this and change his mind but I do understand his confusion and possibly dislike of being close to a man, once called a friend, who betrayed him on such a deep level.

We’ve been talking about friends on the blogosphere recently and how some come into your life share wonderful experiences with you and then vanish never to be seen again and others stay around for the whole long haul. Each one of these encounters, we imagined, were to enrich our lives and show us new angles from which to analyse yourself.

Trust, I believe, is fundamental in any relationship and when that trust is broken it is incredibly hard to patch up and move on. It can be done but requires enormous amounts of input from both parties.

So why is it that all of us at some point have been betrayed by a person we called a friend? What is the lesson to be learnt here?

Do as you would be done by.

A powerful statement that I try to live by. I don’t want any of my friends having a fling with my man so I don’t flirt with their men, not even for a joke but freshly arrived in Italy at the tender age of 19 and madly in love with my very own Italian I was horrified to see how girls would hang around him very obviously looking for his attention fully aware that he was ‘in a relationship’. This didn’t seem to bother them in the slightest and yet there was such a strong enforced rule I had learnt growing up here in the UK.

If he’s ‘spoken for’ you don’t mess.

So why didn’t the Rule count out there? I came across this time and time again  it caused endless arguments until eventually it wore me out and I surrendered.

Vanessa Perroncel is French, I believe she grew up there and came here to work a few years back. So is it a continental thing? Or does it also exist here in the UK and yet I, thankfully haven’t bumped into it yet?

What makes a woman go with a man when she knows he is a husband and father, when she realises that her actions will have dire consequences on an entire family? Greed? Ignorance? Lust?

When I was 18 I worked in Le Gavroche Restaurant in Mayfair London as a receptionist. On handing in my notice my manager suggested we had a leaving party, me and him, he would book a room at the Ritz Hotel and we could spend an afternoon together.

A mind-boggling suggestion let there be no doubts at what he was hoping for, but I knew he had a wife and two little boys and coming from a broken family myself I couldn’t do it. I declined.

If you were the other woman do you think you would be able to stop yourself and turn away before it was too late?

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