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So what do you hope to achieve with this blog of yours?

01/03/2010

Our discussion had already been heated as we thrashed out our differences.

He doesn’t think it’s right for me to spend ‘hours’ on the pc when I could be ironing, washing, cleaning, scrubbing and doing the trillion other chores that exists in any Stay At Home Mum’s life.

I, on the other hand only go on the PC when the girls are sleeping and use it as very precious Me Time. (At about 16.30 I suddenly realise I’ve been on here far too long and go into stupid mode completing an afternoon’s work in record time!)

My blog has become more and more important to me as each post is submitted and comments start to dribble through and after 6 weeks just when I’m starting to get the hang of it, THIS.

He doesn’t read or write classing it as a chore rather than a favourable pastime. He cannot see the pleasure one gets from slowly coming to grips with something new, making it work for you and seeing your own improvement as the days pass. A practical man who believes that dreams should remain belongings of the night.

When he asked me the question above, I took a sharp intake of breath as it registered on my brain (What did he just ask me?) and in a nano second my blood raised to 100 degree celsius and exploded against my skull, my heart was almost crashing out of my rib cage and it scared me…

Where had all this anger come from? We were merely discussing my new blog.

My hands were shaking at the end of my arms and my whole body was trembling, taken over by the most massive wrath ever. I was impressed! I didn’t know I could get this angry and I certainly didn’t realise how much this new project actually meant to me.

I think I scared him too. I saw a flicker in his eyes, the flash of concern fleet across his brow and the quick calculation in his brain ‘Uh-oh, I shouldn’t have said that!’

Too fucking late mate. NO you shouldn’t have bloody said that.

Then unable to stop this incredible rage in it’s tracks I did my usual, I shouted out all of the most hurtful, horrible words I could think of, ignorant, arrogant, thick, stupid, dumb, idiot, arsehole to recall just a few.

Why didn’t I reply..

‘Well actually, seeing as we’ve both decided that I should stay at home with the girls whilst they are small and concentrate on bringing them up properly, I thought I’d try to have a go at writing. My dream for a long time has been to write a book and in order to do that successfully I need to practice my writing. A blog is the perfect place to do so. Who knows? I may be able to make some money along the way too?

Oh no, not me. I crashed around our front room like a bull in a confined pen anxious for release.

I said all those awful things to my soul mate, to the man I love most in this world. The man who holds me tenderly all night long. The most honest and kind man I have ever met. The man who has been there every step of the way holding my hand through our heart breaks and kissing the world back to better when I thought it could no longer be a place for me to live.

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone off like that. I want to continue with my blog as I’m discovering so much about myself. I will not deprive the girls of fun time and I would never see them come to any harm.

They are our life and you are mine.

Photo

 This post has been written for Josie’s 15th Writing workshop I chose prompt 4 – Recount a time when you erupted.

You may also enjoy reading. Everything happens for a reason and Far far away

Writing workshop

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26 Comments leave one →
  1. 01/03/2010 3:33 pm

    OMG-do we have the same husband??????

    I unlike you I think have in all fairness spent too much time on the computer trying to get the hang of things but still….If it is something important to me then why shouldn’t it also take priority?

    Seems we have still more in common than I thought! LOL

    • 01/03/2010 3:45 pm

      Chuckle chuckle,
      I was still fuming this morning when he called me from work to tell me – ‘Just do as you always do, I’m sorry I ever said anything’….I bet he his – I was a monster!

      • 01/03/2010 5:00 pm

        LMAO!!!!!! At least your hubby knows how to apologize. So we must not have the same one.

        I can count on two hands, probably one, how many times in over 20 years he has apologized. LOL (or rather maybe cry out loud).

  2. 01/03/2010 7:16 pm

    Oh Mari… it sounds so much like my house.

    I’ve now stopped saying anything about my blog to DF, because everytime I mentioned it he would mock me in some way. I really didn’t like feeling so upset all the time about something I want to do.

    I personally love blogging and love reading yours, so please don’t stop. 😉

    • 02/03/2010 2:36 pm

      Thank you Beth, that’s a really lovely compliment.

      It’s so sad that our other halves cannot see that actually this is a good thing.
      If it wasn’t for internet many of us would be stuck in our houses day in day out and feeling very sorry for ourselves, instead we can get to know others and share life’s good and bad days.
      Keep up the good work 🙂

  3. 01/03/2010 7:49 pm

    I do want to add, that my husband is also proud of me and does enjoy what I write.

    • 02/03/2010 2:39 pm

      It’s most likely one of those Venus / Mars issues that affect us all?

      Ref post above regarding the apology… do you honestly think it was an apology or just a careful thought out move to avoid another evening of me in a foul mood? 🙂
      Whatever it was it worked – I’m back to blogging and he’s not saying a word.
      Job Done!

  4. 01/03/2010 10:42 pm

    This is very familiar! I think my husband views blogging as a huge amount of time-wasting when there are more important things to do. I remind him it helps keep me sane as being a SAHM with three little ones can do your head in at times. But there have been plenty of arguments like this one, and I’m rarely rational when they occur!

    • 02/03/2010 2:41 pm

      That’s the beauty of being female – they can always go away thinking to themselves…she must be due on soon!

      I’m rational in debate but once that switch has been flicked – rationality is bang out of the window I’m afraid..until further notice!

  5. 01/03/2010 11:19 pm

    I loved this post and was rushing through it to get to the end, which was perfect ! I am constantly amazed by how many of us are in the same boat. I better go to bed now and join my lovely boy….

    • 02/03/2010 2:46 pm

      Thank you for your lovely compliment.

      I’m beginning to wonder if maybe it upsets them on a deeper level? You know like a security thing? I know my man turns his nose up at my internet ‘friends’. For him, friends are people you see, can talk to and you know. Maybe it’s because there are so many horrible stories of friendships born on the net that turned out so very wrong that our men worry for us.

      After all…who are we talking to? Sharing our lives, our dreams and our hopes…

  6. 02/03/2010 8:01 pm

    Well, I think you should put it down to how passionate you are about your blog and your writing! 😉

    • 04/03/2010 1:05 pm

      He’s kind of coming round to my idea now, and strangely enough mentioned a writing room should our house mve go through…. 🙂

  7. 04/03/2010 2:19 pm

    I’m glad it’s not just me! My husband was all supportive at first – helped me think of blog names, asked me every night how many followers I had ) but recently he has been getting annoyed about it. And I went totally, totally apeshit the other night when he said something about me disappearing for an hour every night to ‘bloody blog!’ It’s my time! I can choose to spend it how I like!! This is after I’ve done tea, bedtime, story time, ironing, washed up …..

    It’s sad because I don’t tell him things anymore about it.

    • 08/03/2010 2:42 pm

      Deer baby-am impressed it only takes you an hour-it takes me ages and ages!

      I do think that if you do want to share things with hubby you should not let his attitude stop you from sharing.

      I used to do that, but I then realized that I was losing twice, once because I was not sharing what i wanted and second because I was not letting hubby see a side of me that was a big part of me and my life.

      I say learn to not be bothered by his lack of support or interest but still tell him anything you want to-not for the pat on the back or his interest just so he can be in tune with you.

      hard to learn to do it but worth it.

      Does he read your blog? I know that hubby does and he comments every so often. I think he gets a lot of insight into me that way as well.

  8. 04/03/2010 2:56 pm

    After erupting myself last week it doesn’t always come out right but now life is better!
    Men are ostriches from Mars!!
    BNMx

    • 04/03/2010 3:15 pm

      I had to pop over and seewhat bugged you before replying….not a man!!
      Thank God we love them, that’s all I say. Thanks for the comment – a happier Mari 🙂

  9. 04/03/2010 3:26 pm

    Oh you sweetheart. I just know I would react like that and then beat myself for not being as eloquent as I should. Why do we do that? I think if my Alpha Male knew quite how much time I spent blog surfing etc he would be making similar comments. Great writing though. I felt my blood pressure rise along with you 😉

    MD xx

    • 04/03/2010 3:31 pm

      Thanks MD.
      I have no idea why we do that. But I do know when it starts there’s no stopping it and once the tsunami has passed there’s that awful sense of why did I do that…again?
      At 43, I’m still learning, if I get the answer I’ll be sure to let you know 🙂

  10. 04/03/2010 4:42 pm

    This is a familiar situation, you just can’t stop it can you, you know not to do it, but it still keeps coming and coming! x

    • 04/03/2010 5:32 pm

      Yes, you’re right and you’d think ‘growing up’ we’d learn but that is not the case.
      Love our men for putting up with us

  11. 04/03/2010 8:16 pm

    Beautifully written 🙂

    I am very lucky in that my hubby never, ever has objected to my writing time. I think he sees how important it is to me. I think though that deep down he does wish I could step away a bit more, I’m sure he feels neglected some days though I do my best to try and give him as much time as I can too. I wish sometimes that he WOULD speak out a bit more to be honest – I’m not always the best at setting myself boundaries and sometimes wish he would complain a little bit to help me set some!!

    x

    • 05/03/2010 8:54 am

      I think he got the message, I was quite convincing 🙂
      Thanks always for your watchful eye, your compliments and the time you spend on all of us Josie. It’s a pleasuer to take part in your workshop – I can’t remeber last time I had so much fun writing x

  12. 04/03/2010 10:15 pm

    We’re all married to the same man. And we’re all sensitive about the amount of time we spend on our blogs and therefore respond to questions and comments as if they are criticisms.
    I catch myself doing this. “How dare you ask me that?” when in fact there was nothing meant in the question but the question itself – it was my own shamed brooding that caused me to react that way.
    Men are so practical. They really want to know what we hope to accomplish – what’s our goal and how will it be measured. They’re also just as sensitive as us and every man whose wife maintains a blog is worried what she’s writing about him!
    Men will always find a reason to not be happy with how you’re running the house: Blogs, tv, reading, chatting with friends. My husband once said to me “I work all day, why can’t you.” To which I replied “and did you enjoy your lunch break? because I don’t even get a pee break!” Then I asked him how he would feel if his boss came into his office and criticised the mess on his desk or the cold cup of coffee or the pending project he hadn’t done when he felt he’d been working hard on an important project all day. Perhaps he started to see the light after that, but I’m sure he’ll need reminding!

    • 05/03/2010 8:50 am

      Brilliant reply!
      I loved this bit particularly …every man whose wife maintains a blog is worried what she’s writing about him!
      So true!
      Luckily this was just another of one of those flash in the pan arguements adn we’re back on track with the air nice and lcear again.
      Thanks for popping by 🙂

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