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I wonder what they would say?

21/07/2010

Love

There is one thing I’d like to ask my two older children regarding the traumatic break up with their father.

On hindsight you look back and wish you’d done things differently but at the time you’re so wrapped up in the stiffling situation and have such an urgency to get out and get away that your reasoning becomes murky, your actions become automatic and your emotions are all over the place.

Without a doubt your children are those who suffer in silence not knowing quite who to turn to, their world is turned upside down and they become ‘old’ overnight carrying responsibilities on their tiny shoulders and they start to think before they speak so as not to upset anyone, mum or dad robbing themselves of the innocence of childhood.

My question to them would be, ‘Although it was an incredibly difficult period in our lives, did I act responsibly? Did I at least try to save you from heartbreak? Should I have stayed in Italy rather than return to the UK? Was I a good enough mum for you?

Of course, I’d love the answer to be, Mum you were great, don’t worry. In fact, would they ever feel comfortable enough to tell me the truth?

I wonder?

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. fuzzy permalink
    21/07/2010 1:23 pm

    my parents are divorced too. i must say, no doubt the childrens are to suffer for the mistakes made by their parents. but what can one do? in this world nobodys to be blamed, nobody can be blamed even for their own actions and the consequences that befall them. The last paragraph was too touching. i hope your children can realize the worth of parents as individuals if not together. its true that a breakup will rob them out of their own innocence as well. nonetheless, i pray that the best happens for your children!

    • 21/07/2010 2:03 pm

      Thank you, that’s so well put. I too hope that they can gain out of the experience rather than lose. 🙂

  2. 21/07/2010 3:55 pm

    It’s almost an unfair question to ask because they will never know the misery that would’ve come with staying in a failed relationship. That’s a good thing!

    If you were true to yourself in your decision-making, you acted responsibly. If you were true to yourself in your decision-making, you were being MORE than a good enough mum.

    • 22/07/2010 12:06 pm

      Thanks for your comments. I did as we say ‘ try my best’ and it’s just a niggle at the back of my mind.

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