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Today’s modern family


Beautiful Banyan tree


I am from a ‘modern’ family inasmuch as my parents separated when I was only 10 and there were only a handful of us at school at that time from ‘Broken Families’. I vowed through my broken-hearted tears at the time that I would never let this happen to my family. I would find a strong man, an honest man who I would love and be loved equally in return. 

Of course as you know by now that went completely tits up and I ended up separating from the father of my first two children back in 2003. However my vow to find a strong and honest man remained. I didn’t want to be alone for the rest of my life or end up on the endless dating game and as luck would have it I moved next door to my partner who was (obviously) totally overwhelmed with my wit, darned good looks and fun-loving attitude that it wasn’t long before we were an item. I would like to think a ‘Forever Item’ but you just never know do you? Once bitten twice shy and all that. 

We had our own children, our gorgeous twins, and every now and then I still stop to think about adding to the brood even though I know it’s such a silly idea. I can’t help myself! 

So me, unmarried mum of four from two partners and now grandmother too, my mother whom has also remarried (very happily too I may add) to Granddad who also has two children of his own, who in turn have little ones of their own, so between the grandparents they have 11 grandchildren! 

The tree extends, it’s not a single tree with linear branches anymore. Not like the usual depicted strong oak Family Tree. One trunk with extending branches each holding a photo of faces of people who live happy lives with none of the nonsense I have had to endure and have put mine through. 

In fact we’re a little bit like the Banyan Tree rather than a normal family tree. The Banyan drops a branch to the ground and plants it as she extends upwards and outwards giving the impression that she is walking – taking everything in her stride – and carrying her weight perfectly and independently. I saw a Banyan Tree in Florida at the home of Thomas Edison, a fascinating man with a gorgeous house and grounds but this photo I have borrowed from Jean Marc Lim on Flickr 

In the world we live in today it’s not such a big deal to have a tale like mine to tell. So many people I know have similar pasts and as we speak two of my very close friends have announced their separation. 

I wanted to fight them, tell them ‘No! Stop. Think!’ Don’t do it. It hurts, it’s expensive and your children will suffer but it’s their life and they make their choices. We as bystanders must just look, accept and carry on. 

They are both young and have plenty of time to reinvent new lives just as I and many others have done before them but I am left with this feeling of unhappiness inside. I choke back tears for them. 

How has your family faired the 21st century, are you an Oak or a Banyan tree?

One Comment leave one →
  1. 29/08/2010 7:08 pm

    my family tree is damned complicated! Step this, half that! lol!

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