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A flippant remark

29/08/2010

thoughtful

That's what I would take back. If I write the words down it won't even seem that bad but I know there was an intended malice underlying the comment that surprised even myself.

The comment was made over 20 years ago at college and after leaving college I never saw Karen again.

You see, it was a boring lesson and we were sitting at U shaped tables, Karen was opposite me and I could see her tight cladded legs under the able. I thought it strange for such a young girl. I didn't like her look. I can't remember how it came about that I made the flippant remark, to get a laugh from my classmates, and before I realised it the comment was out, the laughter followed and I felt horrible.

I felt nasty, spiteful and a bitch.

Karen was a star pupil at college, she was also attractive, popular and witty. She hung out with Sarah and it was only in one of our first English lessons that I learnt that Karen was already a mother. I was shocked. She'd actually got pregnant at 16, a capitol sin, I mean, hadn't she heard of the pill???? How could she have let that happen. Why had she 'ruined' her life so early?

Karen worked damn hard at college. Her assignments were all A+ and she went home to her little boy of an evening with no father to help her out. She put in 100% and got out 100%. Admirable.

'What like Karen's 'policewoman's legs?'

That was the comment.

It got a great laugh too. Karen even laughed herself. It was winter and it was cold but tights? I couldn't let it go. I blurted out my stupid comment and have regretted it ever since.

Weird. I have never seen Karen or anyone I was at college with since and yet over the years it was the cattiness behind the comment that won't let me drop it and move on.

I have learnt though to think before I speak and to never misjudge a woman for keeping her child so young.

Now, I am full of admiration for Karen's achievements and should I meet with her tomorrow I would say I am sorry for being such a cow and thank her for allowing me to grow up a little.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. 30/08/2010 12:45 pm

    I know that feeling, I said a couple of horrid things to people in high school and I beat myself up for them every single day. I think that the fact that we feel bad about it though proves that we do care and aren’t bad people, we just made a bad choice.

    • 31/08/2010 4:55 pm

      You hit the nail on the head and of course I was a stupid young thing with a load of rubbish in my head which hopefully has now been replaced with more important stuff!

  2. 30/08/2010 12:45 pm

    Oh, and I’m now tweeting as @MrsTeePot 🙂

  3. Alessandra permalink
    31/08/2010 3:36 pm

    Ah those flippant remarks that we regret the moment they are out of our mouth and yet cannot do anything about once they are out ….

    • 31/08/2010 4:54 pm

      Enough to lose friends over and change your reputation! A hard lesson to learn

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